Writing is Freedom - Poetry: Music Within

Poetry

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Music Within

written by: fallenangel1

The music within, the music inside of me. I listen and listen and i feel so free! I can close my eyes and drift in the clouds. I can be in a field where flowers grow all 'round. I can be anywhere!Oh how i wish you could see. The music i hear and the music i play, both comforting in my own way. Music brings me happiness, music makes my day, music makes me see! The music within, the music inside of me. Oh, how I wish you could see.

Comments:

AutummBreak

Sun, Aug 31, 2008 at 11:48PM

omg love it!! Music roxx! Keep it up girlll!

Ti.anna

Tue, Sep 2, 2008 at 3:00AM

u know what this is like? its like ure running in an open field and jsut singing...its beautiful and just filled with so much of positivity

Script Runner

Wed, Sep 3, 2008 at 1:34PM

Beautiful. Simply elegant. It is a pleasant read. I am going to nitipick a bit here. There is one spot where the flow could be improved. But this is just what i think, so dont worry about it too much. :) In the fourth line,'I can be in a field where flowers grow all around.' I would shorten 'around', to simply 'round. It would read like this:I can be in a field where flowers grow all 'round.

I hope that is constructive. haha. I always try to find something to critique. I appreciate it the most when people find things wrong with my work. Then i learn the most. Anyways, it is excellent work. I truly enjoyed it.

fallenangel1

Wed, Sep 3, 2008 at 11:51PM

thanks i fixed it! you're right, it sounds better.

Sweet Insanity

Mon, Jan 5, 2009 at 7:09PM

I really love this! Music is my life and I think you nailed it!

fallenangel1

Wed, Jul 14, 2010 at 6:02PM

thank you!

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