Poetry

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help me be me

written by: brianmey

Fly on broken wings,
soar beneath your wind.
Sail through murky waters,
my anchor when tide stirs.
Sing through coarse notes,
sweet melody you help compose.
Walk though limping,
your shoulder i'm clinging.
Stand again so help me,
don't give me up..help me be me.

Comments:

Script Runner
Tue, Sep 9, 2008 at 6:21AM

I like this piece. It shows reliance on another, yet also independence. Are we not all so? A few things for consideration:
-the third to last line,'your shoulder i'm clinging.' I would change 'clinging' to something else, for example, 'grasping'. Just a suggestion.
-The last two lines could be rephrased. The last line breaks up the flow. I'm not sure what could be done though.

All in all, good work. I enjoyed this alot. Keep writing!

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