Oh love thou art a crul red flower
That fills me with joy forever
Oh your lips so full and flush
Causing me to look away and blush
You tear up my eyes again and again
you laugh and I dissolve to rain
Oh alas to hold but a crumb of your essence
Oh alas to taste but a drop of your soul
My Love with the rozen hair
And dear with your cheeks so fair
I look into your Ivy eyes
And know that all who were before were for naught
Oh my heart do you hear my cry
Oh love how is it that you cause me to fly
My godess of fire
Will you condescend ever in all that is to be mine
Comments:
I like how you're trying to bring back the old language style. Suggestion... in the first sentence it would be "thou" not though and it is "naught" not nought. Overall good feel.
I've gotten a lot of "real" world commenting on my old language style but no one i don't know closely has ever said anything about it I didn't know that bit about "thou" and "naught" I've been writing them like that since I started thanks
No problem. Glad I could help!
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