Poetry

Stress and Silence Inside

written by: GrenadeJumper

I can't tell the difference between wrong and right
Silence
It breaks me
Everything
It depends on me
Take this fucking stress off me
This is not the way that it should be
I'm not as reliable as I seem to be
I'm not sure how much this means to me
But it keeps adding on stress
Don't I give myself enough?
The pressure, it builds
And I'm not sure how much longer I'll last
I try to put these thoughts in the past
The more I try to do this
The more it hurts inside
But I never wished I would curl up in a ball
And die
But sometimes I feel this shit will make me want to cry
I can't control my emotions
I need to let them go
I'm telling you this just so you know
I'm not always happy
In this crumbling world of mine
I think about it every second
But still I find no cure
I reach and grab
Try to open the door
But it's locked
The gun cocks
This is gonna be the end
This is not the way I envisioned it
Too much stress piling on to this shit
They bend and they push me around
But all my secrets will never be found
It dawns on me again that I'll never get away
I'm gonna have to live with this pressure everyday
It hurts me, I know
I try to take it slow
You people rush me
But I don't know what the fuck for
I feel as though
I'm letting go
Of Everything I feel
People just say they are
But these feelings aren't real
I think about the beginning now
Then I begin to wonder how
This whole thing fell apart and changed around
All these feeling inside me will never be found
I begin to think back to the beginning of this poem
I think about how it all started on a long ride home
You probably think I'm insane
You probably think I've lost it
No, I'm not at the end of my rope
There's hope
Out there somewhere
I know I'm not gonna end it
But, God can't you just leave me alone
You don't understand it
Your no help at all
I'm beginning this fall
But I'll be back again in no time
No I'm not fucking thinking of suicide
Why the fuck do you all think this
I'm actually writing on something I miss
Something that lost
And hasn't been found
Something that could turn my whole life around
What it is
I don't know
But once it is found...

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