O Robin
friendly robin,
your song sounds sweet,
so very sweet,
and yet
stirs torment as well
for while
you are happy,
I am unhappy,
while you know
divine union,
I cannot find it
and while you know
no evil
in your heart,
that is all I feel in mine
often I could almost
have wished
to be like you
a bird
but then
I would consider
what I would miss
if I weren't a man
until finally
it would come
to
this:
O that I knew
the purity
of the robin
while yet
possessing
the soul
of a man
that
I might
enjoy it
Comments:
I'm ashamed to say that I don't value truth the way you do, but I think it's a great idea for a poem. Could the structure of it be changed a little though? I'm not sure how, but maybe shorter, tighter sentences?
I love the comparison's of narrator and the bird. A bird can simply be seen as a free-spirited being, and for someone to envy and wish to have that sense of being. Yet, perhaps regretting it in the end?
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