Poetry

Lack Of Any Judgement

written by: Lokisenna

Emotional support, a unjustified faith.
An old flame, a twisted desire.
Distance, deceit unquestionable.
Which do I choose?
Is it even my choice or is it yet another illusion?
An addiction to whom I am drawn,
Yet devotion proceeds the toxin.
Love..... am I capable of this emotion?
Do I truly seek it? Or wish to avoid it?
Casual, simple.
Serious, complex.
Opposites yet deeply interconnected and appealing.
Can I believe in change?
Can I believe in loyalty?
Answers I am sorely lacking.
Why dwell on such minuscule problems?
Yet the mind no matter how much denied tends to favour the thoughts of the distorted heart.
Do I refrain and deny one?
While the other I sceptically lead on, unwilling to fully trust?
I am not capable of such treachery to either for whom I have come to unfortunately care.
Tired of waiting, tired of games.
Patience in bother cases could bring about a positive outcome.
Yet such a virtue I have long seen as my deficiency.
Decisions, choices comparably different.
Mental stimulation, animal attraction from one of great understanding.
Love and devotion from another yet to be seen.
Is the choice clear?
Or do I selfishly unknowingly will to keep them both?
Judgement impaired by emotions and memories.
Whose judgement do I follow?
Heart or mind?
Mind or heart?