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A life not lived

written by: Stephy

Ayden wasn't an average boy. He appeared to be, but inside he had been hurting more than any other average teen. He had seen it all the good and the bad. But the good never felt right, nothing did. He fought for his life along with his families. Ayden had lost both of his parents. His father had had a massive heart attack when Ayden was 3. And for his mother, she had been murdered. The cops thought differently. They thought it was suicidal. But why would his mother do that? Leave and cause a miserable life for her kids. He thought that his mom would never do that.

He knew his mother better than the cops ever though she passed when he was only 10. His brother was only 8 months old. Ayden had no clue who the father of his little brother Stevie was. His mother was super secretive about it. But Ayden felt and some how knew that this man was the cause of his mothers death. Ayden is presently 14 turning 15 in February and his little brother Stevie was 4 years old with no parents. Stevie hadn't even known he had parents.

Right now they stayed with there single aunt who used to live in Montreal. Montreal was new to them and they were having a hard time adjusting. Adjusting to the fact they had no parents. The fact they had been deserted. The fact that there mother was murdered. And the man or women who killed her was looking for them. The fact that they could never move on. The fact that they had to forget and move on. But how could they? They had lost just about everything with meaning to them. After about a year in Montreal with there aunt, they moved. Stella there Aunt couldn't stand the fact that the house they lived in was the house her own sister had been killed in.

The house where her sister's husband had had the massive heart attack that sent him to heaven. So they moved all the way out to Calgary. They moved into a medium size house in a small town called Easterside. It was definitely small but very populated. They had been living there for about 3 years now. Life without parents had been really hard on Ayden and was the major reason why he lived the life he did today. He had often gotten in fights and took his anger out on others. But this year was different. It was his first year in high school. He was going to start a new impression. Him and Theo his best friend since he had moved here were attending Easterside high. There towns major high school. They had longed to get out of there crappy elementary school. Ayden just wanted to get out of the whole his parents had dug him in. After there deaths they had messed up his life along with his brother.

"Ayden!!" My aunt's boyfriend yelled up the stairs.
"You're going to be late again! If you hurry I can drive you!"
I rolled off the bed, yet to start another day that would end in less than 24 hours. Yet to go to school and work. The weekend was coming and I couldn't wait. I was going to Theo's brother's party. Theo's brother was a year older than I was. And he got along with the girls really well. He had invited some our age so I was a little excited but nervous too. Every girl I had met thought I was weird. Or thought I was crazy. But this summer had changed my life. I felt welcome I felt wanted. My Aunt was dating now so maybe she would get married but where would that leave Stevie and I. Would we be left behind.

Her boyfriend as she called him was great. He took Theo and I out to a concert. He was really cool. My Aunt was way younger than my mom. She is about 21. She has dated many guys, often goes out and smokes. I have tried to stop her from smoking but she doesn't listen. Her boyfriend is quite wealthy. But her boyfriend doesn't smoke. She was the only one who wanted us. My mothers side of the family there was only Stella my mom and my grand parents. My grandparents died a long time ago so all we had to go to was Stella. Well there was my father's side but ever since my fathers death they have refused to talk to us. Refused to let my mother explain that it was an accident. That we didn't want him to die either. They wouldn't listen and I hadn't seen them since I was three. So I didn't bother.

Besides Stella treated us great. I got to do what ever I wanted as long as she wasn't involved. And as long as I didn't get in trouble with the law. My aunt worked two jobs. She was a nurse at the local hospital on week days. And she worked at the flower shop on weekends. As you can see she wasn't home that much. This was kind of bad, because when I needed help or someone to talk to she was never there. She always understood what I was going through. She had lost her sister and her grandparents. We were all she had left. She had no one to run to. Neither did my mom. Wait! Did my aunt know the guy my mother was going out with before she passed? Did she know what happened to my mother? Did my mother talk to her about it before she died? IS that why we moved so far away from where I lived in Montreal. I was going to find this out someway or another.

I got dressed fast. All I had to put on was a pair of pants and a shirt. But this morning it was harder to choose. I was going to a party after school. I wanted to look good. Well not good. Hot. I wanted people to notice me and it was the second week into high school. I still had an impression to set. So I put on what I thought I looked best in. I ran downstairs before I would be late again.

"Ayden what's with the outfit?" Stella asked it with a hint of curiosity? I hadn't told her about the party. She didn't need to know. Even if she did she wasn't my mother so she couldn't stop me from going. Besides she wanted me to be social.
"Just felt like going to school in better clothes. Oh and Theo and I are going to the mall tonight to go get new clothes."
"That's a good idea you are due for a wardrobe change. I am guessing you want money?"
"You guessed right"
She handed me some cash. I grabbed it and headed towards the door.
"Ayden aren't you going to have breakfast?"
"Can't don't have any time. I will get something in the school cafeteria."
"Greg is going to drive you okay?"
Greg came down the stair. He was my aunt's boyfriend and he stayed over often or she stayed at his house.
"Ayden I am not going to be here at all tonight and I got a new babysitter for Stevie. So when you get home pay her and stay with Stevie."
"Sure Stella."
I had never called Stella mom even though she did adopt me after my parent's death. Stevie called her mommy but he was only four and that's who he thought she was. He hadn't known Stella was his aunt. He thought she was our mom. He was too young to understand. I jumped in Greg's car and we were off.

It was a long silent drive until the last few minutes.
"I am going to propose to your mom."
"She is not my mom!"
"She technically is. You have to accept it Ayden. Your parents are dead and your aunt adopted you and now she is your mother."
"She is not my mother. My mother is dead."
"Stella is your new mom."
"Stella isn't going to replace my mom and I am never going to have a mom again. I can't just forget the past. Stella adopted me and she is still my aunt."
"Well I am proposing to your Aunt."
"You know she really cares about you guys. She took you in and you aren't even be thankful."
"I am very thankful of that and I know she cares about me but I am not going to write over my past."
"I know. But you're going to have to move on sometime."
"Well I am not ready to."

I opened the door of Greg's car while it was a red light.
"I can walk the rest of the way."
Greg didn't respond and I didn't want him to. He never said anything back because whenever he did all I would respond was, "you're not my father."
He knew what was coming and it was the truth. He acted like he had me all figured out. But he hadn't even figured out half of me. I was complicated what can I say. I changed a lot. I had dramatic mood swings. It wasn't really all up to mean how I felt. Everyone bothered me so much that I couldn't control my burst outs.

I arrived at school where I met up with my best friend since I had moved to Easterside. Theo of course.
"Ayden my man."
"Hey Theo. What have you been doing checking out the ladies while I wasn't here?"
"No they were checking me out."
"Sure Theo."
"No I am serious. And that one over there is fine."
I glanced in the direction Theo was looking. There was this girl. This girl she stood out like red among black and white. Like a black sheep in a herd of whites. She was beautiful. Theo was checking her out so I nudged him."
"Hey Ayden she's looking over here at you. Go talk to her."
He pushed me in her direction.
"No! I don't know what to say."
"Ayden you always know what to say. You tight with the girls. And she is totally digging you."

Was she digging me as Theo said? Was she even looking at me? I must have been crazy out of my mind. No girls have ever liked me and I don't think one girl is going to change that. She was beautiful. Like a goddess from the springs. She struck me like lightening on a stormy night. I looked at her stinging with fear. I had a tingly feeling in my stomach. To tell you it was same feeling I had had when I found out about my parents. Almost like a clue to something wrong. Something causing me pain and danger. I had been down that road several times and trust me it wasn't a treat. I was never going down that road again. So I took a final glance at what felt like my sun and I revolved around it. And then I walked.

"Hey man slow down where you off to in such a hurry?"
"My locker and classes. I told you I am going to be a good boy this year. It's what my mom would have wanted."
"Man the girls dig bad boys and a girl likes you and you're avoiding her. Hey and your still a bad boy. Remember what you did.....?
"Yeah I know and it was wrong."
"Fun though. And the ladies were digging it."
"Theo stealing isn't something to be proud of."
"Whatever, but a girl likes you and you are blowing her off. All you have to do is reel her in."

"Theo she doesn't like me!"
"But yet Ayden she was checking you out man. You gotta pay more attention."
"Whatever I got to get to class bye."
I got out of there before he could say another word. Before he could lecture me on how to get a girl. As if I didn't know I had one before my mom passed but then I broke up with her. She didn't need to go through the pain I did. I headed towards my first class math. Great where's the math hall. The bell rang and all I could think about was getting to class. And guess who I ran into. Yeah it was her alright. That girl I saw earlier this morning.
"Hey do you know where the math hallway is.?"
"Umm... no! what's you room number?"
"Same here."
"Cool what's your name?"
"Ayden. Yours?"

We finally arrived at class. I looked so stupid in front of the class but she maintained her cool. I took a seat and she sat right beside me. This was kind of weird. Maybe she did like me or maybe she didn't. But if she did I would be the luckiest boy on EARTH!
April that was a nice name. Whenever I thought of her name I thought of a flower blooming in spring.
Why would a girl like her like a boy like me? She was the perfect match for Gerard. Gerard was a rich boy. But being rich wasn't everything he was cool too. Captain of the hockey team. All girls liked hockey buffs. But in my case very few like soccer guys and that's what I was. A soccer skater. They thought I was punk sometimes. A lot of girls seemed to go for the gangsters. But I thought that was just stupid. They thought they could hurt anyone. But with my punching skills I could punch any of them out.

Either way it hit me that a girl likes me. I mean it's kind of weird but kind of a familiar feeling. I mean before my mother's death I had dated a girl named Makayla but I broke up with her when I lost everything with meaning. I just couldn't take the fact that I was hurt and she was going to fix me! Isn't it the guy supposed to be comforting the girl?


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