Prose

Shipwreck Within

written by: Majestic

I should have known that the forest wasn't safe. But the anger inside was fierce and I knew that only by being surrounded by nature would it be able to settle and evaporate from beneath my skin. I hadn't even known where I was going, as many other times when I left in a hurry to be rid of my anger. I went where my feet led and tonight I found myself deep in forest's territory. I didn't realize until my anger slowly began to subside that the darkness had taken reign over the sky. Twilight was gone and a pale, full moon was slowly rising, its light scattering in between the tree branches to the forests ground. I stopped in my tracks and looked around, but only shadows greeted my eyes with no familiar shapes but trees. My only hope was to turn around and retrace my steps.
The wind suddenly touched my skin and I became hesitant to turn back as my eyes opened as if I were blind before. A glow shimmered from the distance as a spark of fire in the darkness. Its silent beauty called me and my feet moved before I could tell them too. My heartbeat, trying to jump from my chest and my feet moved faster, wanting to meet the glow.
The light met me first, flowing over and past me as mist. I reached out to it, wanting to grab it and hold it close, but it went through me, untouchable. My eyes moved through its beauty to the ground where the light bounced and shimmered on a liquid surface. I moved closer only to fall to my knees at a waters edge.
A pond lay, in the clearing with trees circulating around as a barrier to the outside world. The light floated in and above the water watching over it like a guardian. I looked over the edge and into the clear surface. My chest suddenly hummed and I froze into place as the depths of the water moved and rippled until I saw myself, but I didn't know me. Memories flowed from my body and into the river, covering my reflection and playing images of my life.
I saw my childhood. My smiles and my tears. I saw my mother holding me close when I was hurt. She was speaking softly to me but I couldn't hear her words but I could feel them. Her comfort and warmth seemed to float above the surface and caress my heart; each touch lingered for a breath before disappearing.
Then the memory changed.
I saw my father, dead for only a short time, smiling and laughing as we talked and played. He told me stories when I was little and helped me through the rough times as I grew. My heart ached and I put my hand out to touch his, but the image rippled and faded and water was placed where his hand should have been.
Words grew and formed, but I couldn't speak them. My voice was lost in the silence. The water was dark once again, though I begged for the memories to return. My emotions fought beneath me. Both anger and sadness ripped me apart until I collapsed at the water's edge.
I had seen what I wanted to see and only in the edges of the past could I find myself.
I needed comfort.
I needed safe.