Prose

Jewelry: The Bat Signal for Muggers.

written by: liavioleta

Oh joy. Christmas time has arrived once again, and a wonderful way to celebrate its arrival is by bombarding people with even more commercials through the television, magazine and newspapers of expensive jewelry urging people to buy that million dollar tiny diamond ring because it will make her happy for ever and ever.

But not this female! Buying me jewelry that I will never use, and if I use it, it'll probably be only one time, but nevertheless buying me jewelry will make me want to kill you. Why? Because the message you're giving me by giving me jewelry is the following: "Heyyy I hate you, so I found a really great way to get rid of you indirectly. I decided to take advantage of the holidays and be a consumerist ass-robot and I bought this diamond earring, necklace, bracelet and ring set so that when you are out showing it all off you'll get mug and hopefully raped and killed. Here you go!"

No thanks asshole!

So my point is: why is it that people believe that having diamonds, rubies, emeralds and shiny shit like that will make a woman happy? That is all that these commercials on Christmas are trying to say and the sad thing is that men believe it (because it's always the husband who's the dumb retard that falls for it. And the wife doesn't help because she's already a stupid self-absorb brainwashed materialist bitch that gives little hints to the husband to go and spend their savings on a stupid shiny shit like that). Anyways, this is a wake-up call for you retards to open your eyes and realize what expensive shiny, bright jewelry really gives you: a great chance of getting mugged, envious and jealous friends, and being broke. But if you prefer to outshine your friends, then be my guest and spend away!



Happy Holidays!