Prose

Release Me!

written by: Sweet Insanity

In the depths of night I sit quietly typing on my computer, solid as a rock... on the inside. I calmly close my eyes and visualize myself where I really belong. Hot scalding water gushes over my sobbing broken body. I am crumpled in a fetal heap on the floor of the shower as the release of steam fills my lungs, cleansing my insides. The mirror fogs up and all reality is softened, blurred, erased; it is purified as I hope to be. My eyes burn as tears slide down my face, my body aches from the constant heaving. In the end, I'm purged; mind, body, spirit. All the agony, the memories, the doubts, guilt and pain are washed away with my tears, down the drain, never to be seen or felt ever again. When I open my eyes I am indifferent to the glare of my screen with its impatient blinking cursor. I am saddened by my inability to give myself permission to let go, to loose control, to be free. I think, "if only I could let myself lie curled in fetal position in the bathtub letting hot scalding water gush over my body, I might have my much-needed release."