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A Boy Who Kills

written by: Aprodia

Sucker love, I always find someone
to bruise and leave behind...
Placebo, Every You Every Me

He frowns absentmindedly. Then, just for a moment, he puckers his lips and shoots them to the right. He's in thought, the rare moments when he forgets to pose and puts all of his strength in understanding. He killed again.

A life of moments - this is what he gives me. A second, in which I know exactly how his hair smells or how his hands feel, when his smile is not too wide and not too tight, when the music in my head measures his steps and then reaches its exuberant climax. Pure perfection... with household items. He is only human.

And then... Silence. The smile's just too wide, he's a dash too cruel. I'm too sad. He kills me and I die exclusively for him. Because there isn't a world where I can imagine outliving perfection.

Sometimes I feel it coming from miles away, like the quiet darkening sky before a storm. He's strolling down the hall, absentmindedly saying his hellos, waving and smirking. His eyes play around, leaving flesh wounds everywhere, searching. I know for certain that even for a moment, his gaze will lock with mine. I will perish and he will keep looking for his own perfection. It feels like drowning.

At other times, however, he dares to surprise me, sneaking into my world through the back door, a stray bullet. Like a lightning his presence becomes known to me, like a splash of red paint on a blank canvass. He tears me down with a look of accusation (or do I only imagine), a bullet through my eye.

It keeps me thrilled, the want to know what my next end would be like. The little things in life give me texture.

A boy who kills... but can he love? And will my immortality withstand it? There's no one immortal really, just some have not met their match. And his love, I can only imagine, is so immense and consuming, I will perish, go blind.

He'll kill again tomorrow. But it's okay. A boy who kills can have me. I have a thousand lives for him.

Comments:

Tue, Nov 10, 2009 at 11:05PM

darkly provocative... i like

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