Prose

what if (sarah)

written by: babeestars

The hardest decision of my life, made in the blink of an eye. What made me choose one path over another, I don't know. What made me choose one family, I don't know. And every second since I questioned myself for why. What if id done things differently. How could any girl choose. My mum and Dad who bought me up, fed me, clothed me and loved me. Or my biological parents, who gave me away, but welcomed me back with open arms. I guess my adoptive family sounds so much better. And lying here on this bed, that's who I wanted to be with. But if id gone with them, then they would have taken me away from my friends, my college, and my real family, how could they do that to me? They made me choose, they were asking for it, weren't they? Or am I being harsh, maybe they know better than me.
my belongs where scattered round the room in boxes, everything felt so empty. Soon it would become mine, but for now it felt so cold. "Sarah?" Katie flicked the light switch on, causing the growing shadows to hide behind the boxes. "are you ok?" I sat up and looked at her.
"How can you act so normal, like nothing has happened, when my whole world has been torn apart?" she moved to sit beside me.
"I dreamt of this day, since the day my mum came home from hospital without you, I dreamt you would come back, and I never stopped hoping, but I guess I never truly believed it would happen. And now it had, and I don't know what to do or say, everything's so surreal."
"What if I did the wrong thing? Maybe I shouldn't have been so stubborn,"
"maybe, but if you hadn't then right now you would be in a different place, with weird people, sitting a room with boxes everywhere, and you wouldn't know what to do with yourself, you would have left people behind, maybe even felt you'd lost them. Is that really what you wanted?"
"Doesn't sound much different to now."
"What weird people, in a random room of boxes."
"Exactly" I nodded, "and I've lost my mum and dad,
"but you've gained a sister."
"Katie, promise me you won't ever leave me, promise you wont go."
"I promise." She pulled me into her, my head resting on her should. My cold hands in hers. "I promise."