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A Dane Cook Moment

written by: arjjones

Today was a milestone because I found out that the Dane Cook style stories really do happen (crazy things can happen when you order an ice cream). Allow me to share a lil story...

So it's colder than a frozen witch nipple outside- nearly absolute zero but not so much- so I decided "damn you thermostat" I'm going to enjoy an ice cream. I walk to the on-campus smoothie place, which just happens to serve ice cream as well, and ordered two nutritious and delicious scoops of Berry n' Red Cream of Ice. It is integral when planning an interesting day to partake in the consumption of some berry goodness, vital to my daily exploits in fact. Anyskoot,I depart from this location, all too pleased with my sweet treat in a waffle cone, and begin to head into the world a happy man. It just so happens that I was feasting on this treat when I beheld a sweet angel of a girl trying to step over some chain railing that lined a walkway, in order to secure a shortcut to who knows where...and then IT happened. In her rush, she misjudged the height needed in order to clear the chain without incident, and everything went into slow motion as she STUMBLED! Oh sweet mercy I thought, berries AND a show!

Needless to say I stopped walking to see what would happen next. I was so close to that sexy sensation of seeing someone else "bust that ass". As I stood cherishing her, she summoned the strength to compensate for her lack of a good time-saving plan, and played it off with a neat hop. Had I not had my delectable snack to comfort me I would have been sorely disappointed. Who would have known that my ice cream would get the better of me and rob me of my coordination only moments later as I stepped into the dirt and almost ate some earth myself! Luckily I had a firm grip on my berries, and took about 9 extra steps to keep from crushing my cone and sullying my reputation.

No exaggeration, it was possibly the closest I will ever come to eating a twisty cone and watching an accident, but I tell you this friends: eat ice cream often, preferably with fruit in it, for when you least expect it, someone my multiply your jolly factor and bring a lil joy to your world.

Happy trails fokkers, I'll be watching you


Fri, Oct 26, 2007 at 10:33PM

Cute and funny! What would have served you right would have been for you to be the one to fall or better yet drop that Berry Goodness! Well written.. could use a little editing for flow but you really bring the reader into the story.

Sun, Mar 30, 2008 at 7:44PM

I don't know, I've ordered a smoothie at Booster Juice plenty of times and have never experienced so much as a leaky cup! Some guys have all the luck!

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