Prose

Reconstruction

written by: Sweet Insanity

You destroyed me and there was nothing I could do about it
I was young and though I tried to be in control you overpowered me
Over the past few years I've thought I was over it
time and time again
I've overcome so much and to be honest, I'm proud of myself!

I thought that everything was ok now
And that you were finally completely out of my mind, out of my life
I'm realizing now that while I've dealt with almost all of it
There were some parts I missed:

The part of me that clenches my teeth while I sleep
and digs my nails into my palms
is you
The part of me that wakes up with stomachaches
and fear that I will fail another day
is you
The part of me that panics as if the world is coming to and end
and all I love is gone
is you
The part of me that buries myself in work
because I'm terrified to live, to let what really matters matter
is you
The part of me that pushes everyone and everything away
so I can hide
is you

I am though with you! I want you out of my life forever!
I want to LIVE! To LOVE!
To Love myself in a way that I've never allowed myself to love
Without blaming myself for every mistake
Without ridiculing and putting myself down

That part of me was you. And now you're Gone!