Prose

Random Thoughts from an Ov erside Head

written by: Daniel91

Well I don't what to say I'm not too good at opening myself up to people. I know that sounds redundant because I write poetry. But when I write poetry I only use my heart, I never let anybody see what's in my soul. Because you can have a change of heart but you can't change what's in your soul. The reason why I'm writing this is because I recently let someone ruined their life's because I was too scared to stop them. I know we all make our own choices but I do believe God gave me the ability to connect with people on level that most people take for granted.

To know why I had such great guilt over my mistake about somebody who in today's standards I should have cared about; you need to what I did when I got up Saturday mornings, like most kids would turn on cartoons. I turned on superman; superman is my idol not because I'm some weird comic book nerd who hides in the back of the room. It's not because he can kick anybody's ass, yes even batman's. It's because of how he was different because of his beliefs, morals, and values. It was like he was Christ for a new age, which is funny because since he's the love child of two Jewish kids.

Even Though I never knew it all the time but superman resembles so many things than just a guy in tights. He represents everybody he was our voice, our strength, our guide. He was the perfect human, even though wasn't born here. That's something else that always got me why is humanity so focused on biological reasoning? Just because we were born of two Homo sapiens that shouldn't make us human, it's our soul and heart that make us human. It's a divine gift to be called a human, because when God made us in his image. I like to think it wasn't just all about looks, I believe that he gave us a very small piece of him and put in our chest. He gave us a taste of what it feels like to truly love something beyond reasoning.

Okay time to get back on track I've always tried to put myself to what I call Superman's code. I know that may not sound very Christian, but if you think about it really as Christian as you can get. Every time I would see a wrong in the world I would try to fix it, even though it had nothing to do with me. Now that I think about it I know why I have such a hard time at school. It's because I belong some where else, I belong on the rooftops and alley ways in some over run metropolis. Fighting the scum of the earth and saving dames in distress. That's who I am and I know how it sounds like some nerd is trying to live out a boyhood fantasy. but it's God's honest truth, and that's why when I let my friend destroy their life I had go to the depths of depression. Because I failed in my prupose and I felt like I didn't deserve any of my gifts.

I was ready to give up everything and say screw you and leave, because what good is the hero without the villain. But that's when a very good friend came to me and said that I can't live in the past, she said that if I quit using my abilities then I would hurt allot more people. So I decide I can't fix my mistake and I would have to deal with my guilt slowly but I can still help people with their lives. So I'm not quite where I want to be, I have to deal with addiction before I can help people. But soon I will be...

This is me ranting